‘Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark’ Opens For Previews And It’s About As Bad As ‘Spider-Man 3′

‘Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark’ Opens For Previews And It’s About As Bad As ‘Spider-Man 3′

The most expensive show in the history of Broadway—the $65 million Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark—had its first preview Sunday night at Foxwoods Theatre.

While it’s not appropriate to review a preview (it’s like panning a movie after watching the trailer), the word from people who were there was not encouraging. And that couldn’t please me more.

According to the New York Daily News there was a bundle of technical glitches that weren’t just minor mistakes but literally show stoppers. The production was stopped so many times that Spider-Man ticket holders couldn’t follow the plot.

Now, previews allow the cast and crew to iron out the kinks but it appears Spider-Man the musical has more problems than just a misplaced prop or clumsy blocking.

Directed by the great Julie Taymor, Spider-Man features a lot of characters dangling from cables, flying around the theatre. So even on a good night the show is a candidate for disaster. Nonetheless, during Sunday’s performance Spider-Man/Peter Parker, played by Reeve Carney, got stuck in the air and needed to be rescued.

The musical, which ran for nearly four hours, got so bad at one point that a theater-goer yelled something about being a “guinea pig.”

Yes, the high-flying effects are complicated, but even so they don’t have a lot of time to get things right. Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, which was supposed to debut in January of 2010, opens for reals on Jan. 11.

Also cause for concern is the music, written by U2’s Bono and The Edge. Many in the audience felt the music was underwhelming. That’s not good. The show’s music is supposed sell a lot of theater tickets.

“I came to get Spider-Man tickets because I’ve heard it’s such a disaster and this would be the first time they’ve ever run the show…I want to come and see it all go horrendously wrong,” said a theater-goer.

Hopefully things will continue to go horrendously wrong. I’m a huge fan of Broadway musicals, even the bad ones, but I want Spider-Man: TOTD to fail.

It’s not so much because of Bono, or The Edge, or Taymor, or the $65 million price tag, or the subject matter; it’s because of the media’s fawning coverage and the incessant slobbering of the worst people on the face of the Earth, smarmy U2 fans.

There are so many awesome shows on the Great White Way—Wicked, Jersey Boys, Memphis, American Idiot, Jersey Boys, Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson—that deserve media attention far more than “Spider-Man: The Technical Glitch.”

Come on media! Don’t be suckered by Spider-Man’s famous composers and its Hollywood-like budget. Report on musicals that people have actually seen and enjoy!

And you know pretentious U2 fans (that’s a redundant phrase) are going to be all over this show like sunglasses on Bono. To them Spider-Man is the one and only true musical and everything else is just Fantasticks II.

“You’re going to see Promises, Promises? How lame. That show is so 2010. I’m off to see Spider-Man for the 7th time. By the way I wet the bed,” quips every U2-loving douche bag.

But I digress. I hazard to guess that no one shares my disdain for U2 fans nor joins me in the desire to see Spider-Man the musical bomb.

However, I think they will get it fixed before opening night. If you’ve spent $65 million on a show what’s a couple more million to smooth out the wrinkles.

Besides, the musical sold over $1 million worth of Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark tickets the day after its disastrous first performance (U2 fans must be living in denial). At that rate, producers will get their investment back on Feb. 1, 2011.

Learn More About .