American Idol ‘Live Tour’ Kicks Off July 1

American Idol ‘Live Tour’ Kicks Off July 1

Regardless of who wins American Idol this year, the show’s annual summer tour, “American Idols Live!,” launches July 1 in Auburn Hills.

The “live” concert features the top 10 finalists performing their most popular songs from the show. They will sing in groups and as individuals.

All in all, the Idol kids are scheduled to play 49-dates in North America. The last concert is scheduled for Pittsburgh on Sept 14.

American Idol Finalists
Didi Benami
Crystal Bowersox
Lee Dewyze
Andrew Garcia
Casey James
Aaron Kelly
Michael Lynche
Siobhan Magnus
Katie Stevens
Tim Urban.

Tickets for most American Idol shows go on sale May 15.

The announcement of the American Idol tour got Land of Punt thinking. What would an American Idol season be like if it was comprised completely of real-life, honest-to-goodness rock/pop stars?

In the theater of the mind LOP pick 12 of popular music’s biggest stars completely at random using the exact same formula the producers of American Idol use.

We have a large black singer (Aretha Franklin), a rocker (Bruce Springsteen) a country singer (Carrie Underwood), the oddly attractive quirky girl (Cyndi Lauper), and the grade “A” douche bag (Bono).

We also added a hybrid. We combined Mariah Carey with Christina Aguilera with Beyoncé Knowles. It seemed only fitting to combine these three divas since every chick that tries out for Idol mimics at least one of them.

Aretha Franklin
Bruce Springsteen
Cyndi Lauper
Carrie Underwood
Elvis Presley
Janis Joplin
Jim Morrison
Otis Redding
Paul McCartney
Mariah Christina Beyonce

Weeks 1 & 2
The voting was cancelled for these two weeks as Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin both failed to show up. They were finally found at David Crosby’s house completely wasted. The first week featured the Idol hopefuls singing number one singles (Paul McCartney dominated) while the second week showcased songs gay people dance too (Madonna got rave reviews) .
Eliminated: Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin

Week 3 – Lennon and McCartney Week
Otis Redding hit the dock out of the bay with his rendition of “Day Tripper.” Bono’s version of “Helter Skelter” received several negative comments from the judges to which the U2 frontman responded: “This is the song Charles Manson stole from the Beatles. I’m stealin’ it back.” Once again there was no need for a vote. Paul McCartney was disqualified for singing “Something.” While it’s a Beatles’ song it was actually written by George Harrison.
Eliminated: Paul McCartney

Week 4 – Broadway Comes to Idol
The judges really enjoyed Elvis’ “Tonight” from West Side Story. They also enjoyed Aretha Franklin’s rendition of “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going” although they thought it was a bit obvious. The bottom two Idols were Mariah Christina Beyonce and Madonna. Madonna was eventually eliminated. She sang “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina.” As Simon said, “it was completely unbelievable. Rubbish.”
Eliminated: Madonna

Week 5 – American Idol Goes Country
Land of Punt must admit that we forgot Carrie Underwood was a former American Idol winner. We apologizes for our oversight. LOP just assumed that because she’s so popular and successful she had nothing to do with the show.
Eliminated: Carrie Underwood

Week 6 – Soul and R&B
As you might expect the judges liked Otis Redding’s and Aretha Franklin’s performances the best. Ellen Degeneres said Aretha should sing at presidential inaugurations while wearing a silly hat. Some controversy brewed when Otis said Elvis was a white man who sang like a black man. Elvis responded to Otis by saying, “Thank you, thank you very much.”
Eliminated: Cyndi Lauper

Week 7 – Barry Manilow Week
This week the bottom two consisted of Bruce Springsteen and Bono. The Boss is eventually eliminated as America did not enjoy his 20-minute rendition of “Can’t Smile Without You.” Judges tell Bono he needs to change his attitude. They did not appreciate him shining a spot light into their eyes while saying, “Am I bugging you? I don’t mean to bug ya.”
Eliminated: Bruce Springsteen

Week 8 – Rock and Roll
Tragedy strikes Idol as Mariah Christina Beyonce is rushed to the hospital after over doing the runs in Led Zeppelin’s “Immigration Song.” Randy Jackson said the incident was so frightening he briefly saw the face of Don Cornelius hovering above the Idol stage. Meanwhile, Simon liked Elvis’ performance so much he nicknamed him “The King.”
Eliminated: Mariah Christina Beyonce

Week 9 – New Wave
Bono charmed the judges with a rousing version of Duran Duran’s “Hungry like the Wolf.” Elvis, Otis, and Aretha had no idea what constituted new wave music. However, Aretha got lucky and accidently performed Burt Bacharach and Hal David’s “(There’s) Always Something There To Remind Me.” She had no idea Naked Eyes had turned it into a new wave classic in 1983. It fortunately kept her out of the bottom two.
Eliminated: Otis Redding

Week 10 – Songs From Movies
The judges liked Bono’s “Desire” even if they thought it was a bit bombastic. Elvis was chided for his awful song choice, “Little Egypt” from Roustabout. Simon and the brunette judge with the bedroom eyes and her original nose were not pleased with Aretha’s “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” from the 1986 movie of the same name starring Whoopi Goldberg. America agreed.
Eliminated: Aretha Franklin

For the final show, the 10 Idol finalists joined forces to perform “Walking On Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves. During the number they were mercilessly heckled by John Lennon and Harry Nilsson. When it came time for Ryan Seacrest to announce the winner, Elvis was nowhere to be found. After a few minutes, Cyndi Lauper rushed on stage and announced that due to Lennon’s and Nilsson’s disparaging remarks Elvis had left the building. Bono was declared the winner and ended the show by singing “When The Stars Go Blue” with The Corrs.
Winner: Bono

Americans Idols Live! Itinerary
July 1: Auburn Hills, MI (Palace of Auburn Hill)
July 2: Milwaukee, WI (Summerfest)
July 3: Grand Rapids, MI (Van Andel Arena)
July 5: Hamilton, ON, Canada (Copps Coliseum)
July 7: Wantagh, NY (Nikon at Jones Beach)
July 10: Atlantic City, NJ (Mark G. Etess Arena)
July 11: Philadelphia, PA (Wachovia Center)
July 13: Uncasville, CT (Mohegan Sun Arena)
July 14: Manchester, NH (Verizon Wireless Arena)
July 15: Hershey, PA (Giant Center)
July 17: Albany, NY (Times Union Center)
July 18: Mansfield, MA (Comcast Center)
July 20: Newark, NJ (Prudential Center)
July 23: Washington, DC (Jiffy Lube Live)
July 24: Baltimore, MD (1st Mariner Arena)
July 25: Charlotte, NC @Verizon Wireless Amphitheater)
July 27: Columbus, OH (Nationwide Arena)
July 28: Knoxville, TN @Thompson-Boling Arena_
July 29: Virginia Beach, VA (Virginia Beach Amphitheater)
July 31: Lexington, KY (Rupp Arena)
August 1: Duluth, GA (Arena at Gwinnett Center)
August 3: Sunrise, FL (BankAtlantic Center)
August 4: Tampa, FL (St. Pete Times Forum)
August 7: Houston, TX (Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion)
August 8: Tulsa, OK (BOK Center)
August 9: Dallas, TX (American Airlines Center)
August 12: Phoenix, AZ (US Airways Center)
August 13: Los Angeles, CA (Staples Center)
August 14: Mountainview, CA (Shoreline Amphitheatre at Mountainview)
August 16: San Diego, CA (Viejas Arena)
August 17: Anaheim, CA (Honda Center)
August 18: Sacramento, CA (ARCO Arena)
August 20: Seattle, WA (Key Arena)
August 21: Portland, OR (Rose Garden)
August 23: Denver, CO (Comfort Dental Amphitheatre)
August 25: Kansas City, MO (Sprint Center)
August 26: Omaha, NE (Qwest Center)
August 27: St. Louis, MO (Scottrade Center)
August 29: Minneapolis, MN (Target Center)
August 30: Chicago, IL (United Center)
August 31: Des Moines, IA (Wells Fargo Arena)
September 2: Toledo, OH (The Huntington Center)
September 3: Cincinnati, OH (Riverbend Music Center)
September 4: Indianapolis, IN (Conseco Fieldhouse)
September 7: Winnipeg, MB, Canada (MTS Centre)
September 10: Buffalo, NY (HSBC Arena)
September 11: Cleveland, OH (Quicken Loans Arena)
September 13: Bridgeport, CT (Arena at Harbor Yard)
September 14: Pittsburgh, PA (Consol Energy Center)

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