Bono Named World’s ‘Worst Investor In America’

Bono Named World’s “Worst Investor In America”

This may come as a shock but one of the world’s biggest bleeding heart liberals is bad with money.

U2 frontman, and every dude’s unabashed mancrush, Bono, has been named the world’s “worst investor in America” by 24/7 Wall Street.

Certainly that title is hyperbole as there’s no quantitative method to discern the unanimous worst investor in America. However, labeling one of the world’s biggest stars as a financial flop sure helps with link baiting and driving traffic.

There’s also a deep satisfaction gained from learning that a man who’s won “life’s lottery” is incredibly awful at something. We revel in successful people’s failures.

Nonetheless, the Irish rocker’s track record with the investment group Elevation Partners is particularly poor and has certainly cost Paul Hewson millions and millions of dollars. The group’s investment has been described as beyond the auspices of bad luck.

PALM
In 2007, Elevation purchased 25% of Palm. The company, trying to take some of the market away from iPhone, saw its stock fall from $18 a share to $3.65. Some guy who knows a lot about money and works for a company that does things with money said, “there is a 90% chance that they go bankrupt or get acquired within a year.”

FORBES
Elevation invested $300 million in Forbes’ online buisness when it was worth $750 million. Suddenly, the economy sours and readers flock to the internet but not necessarily to Forbes.com. Before you could say “Bullet The Blue Sky” the value of Forbes Inc., dropped 80%. The company is now worth “perhaps $100 million.”

MOVE.com
Move.com ownes a slew of home and real estate websites. In 2005, Elevation invested $100 million in the company but since then their shares have plummeted 50%. Last year, despite a revenue of $212 million, Move.com moved about $7 million down the drain. Their stock now trades at around $2 a share and the company’s worth has dropped to a measly $340 million.

YELP.com
Elevaton invested $25 million in Yelp, a website that allows users to rate and review various facets of a city (restuarants, venues, nightlife, tourist attractions, etc…). However, the company has been sued (three cases are pending) for trying to extort money from business to erase unfavorable reviews. It’s image is irreversibly destroyed. And we thought this site would be torn asunder by snarky reviews by its smarmy users.

Those are of course the four “big” investments that have gone wrong for the Elevation partners. Unfortaunetly for Bono and company, there are several more. Below Land of Punt enumerates all of Bono’s mighty money mishaps…

Heidi Montag’s home plastic surgery kit
Organic Doritos
Amish.com
The Edge’s line of scrap booking accessories
My First Colostomy Bag
BBQ Panda Bear tenders
Port-au-Prince Crystal Company
Solar power dildos
Spider-man: The Musical
The wheel-less cycle
Broccoli Cola
Gobstoppers for seniors
No Line on the Horizon

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