The rock band The Who is rumored to be the halftime entertainment at Super Bowl XLIV. The official announcement is scheduled for Thanksgiving Day.
The de facto national holiday is for Feb. 7, 2010 in Miami and the big game will be broadcasted by CBS.
Performing at halftime of the Super Bowl is one of the biggest gigs on the planet. Since the “wardrobe malfunction” of 2004, the only prerequisite one needs to land the opportunity is an AARP card.
Since that fateful February day, the NFL has enlisted a slew of tired, worn out rockers like Paul McCartney, The Rolling Stones, Prince, Bruce Springsteen, and Tom Petty.
There’s nothing wrong with that list. All the performers are legends and all put on terrific shows.
Besides, the Super Bowl Halftime Show is a broad, mass appeal musical brushstroke. It’s not the platform to showcase up and coming talent or blaze new territories in performance. It’s a reward for being successful, endearing, and old.
The infamous “wardrobe malfunction” occurred during the halftime show of Super Bowl XXXV. That show was produced by MTV. Both CBS and MTV are owned by the same company, Viacom.
Despite the appearance of Janet Jackson’s nipple, MTV did inject some life into the withering halftime gala. Their productions were fast, energetic and hip.
Of course MTV is now banned from ever producing Super Bowl Halftime Shows again.
However, Viacom is still down with the synergy. The Who provides the theme songs to three of CBS’s top-rated shows: CSI, CSI: Miami and CSI: New York.
We can only imagine that the respective theme songs, “Who Are You,” “Won’t Get Fooled Again,” and “Baba O’ Riley,” will be part of The Who’s 12-minute melody.
Land of Punt is ecstatic at the booking as we are huge fans of the British rockers. We would have been preferred booking The Who for Super Bowl XXIV instead of Super Bowl XLIV, but whatcha gonna do?
We are not the only entity excited to see the Who at the what!
Readers of Rolling Stone magazine, as well as the magazine’s cadre, selected The Who as possible performers for the Super Bowl Halftime Show.
It’s understandable why the NFL would go the safe route, or even the ultra safe route, they are a $4 billion venture that lives and dies on its reputation.
Still, Land of Punt believes there are viable alternatives to the usual slate of over-the-hill rockers.
Our options would grab headlines, keep viewers tuned in, and, most importantly, not keep NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell up at night worrying about which body part the lead singer will flash to all of North America.
Taylor Swift, Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus
These kids are too young and too stupid to realize they could flash their what-nots and get away with it. They also skew way young which is great news for the Tiffany Network.
I know what you’re saying, “I can’t even name one of their songs!” That’s okay. No one of legal drinking age can, but who cares. It’s just 12 minutes and most of that will be spent urinating and fixing a sandwich.
Besides, the Jonas Bros. gives testosterone laden Neanderthals a target for their alcohol induced homophobia. Meanwhile, Swift and Cyrus comprise just about every middle-aged male football fan’s fantasy.
The only downside is Cyrus is a Disney product and Viacom may not want to promote someone from the rat ears.
Jay-z and Beyonce
Jay-z has more number one albums in the U.S. than everyone besides The Beatles. Jay-z would reach hip hop fans and whippersnappers everywhere, especially if he brought along Kanye West and Rihanna.
For those who don’t care for the rap, they can watch Beyoncé dance.
Yes, Jay-z has a past but he’s too successful a business man to do anything stupid. Beyoncé may dress provocatively but she’s all class.
The problem with this booking is Jay-Z is part owner of the New Jersey Nets. Would the NFL want a recognizable part of the NBA performing during halftime of their big game? Probably not.
George Strait and Reba McIntire
George Strait and Reba McIntire are the king and queen of country music. In 2010, the pair is scheduled to tour the United States together. In 2009, they opened Jerry Jones’ new Cowboys Stadium. Between the two of them they have had about a bazillion hits.
Sure they are the country music equivalents to The Stones and The Who, but for non-country music fans George and Reba are breath of fresh twangy air.
They are also super safe.
Yet, this pairing skews old and white (really white) but throw in appearances by Carrie Underwood and Darius Rucker (CMA Award winner for New Artist Of the Year) and you have your bases covered.
They are very close to be tired and old but they still have a few years to go before they are really decrepit. Right now they are The Rolling Stones circa Steel Wheels.
Bon Jovi has just released an album. They are set to embark on a mammoth world tour, and they will open the new stadium at the Meadowlands in New Jersey.
Come to think of it, they are too busy. Perhaps in a year or two Bon Jovi can give the Super Bowl Halftime Show a “bad name.”
Tribute To Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson performed at the halftime of Super Bowl XVII (1993). It seems only fitting to honor him in the first Super Bowl Halftime Show after his death.
This show could feature a slew of performers like Stevie Wonder, Janet Jackson, John Legend, and Mary J. Blige just to name a few. CBS could book any number of artists to satisfy any number of demographics.
The cringe factor for this idea is the NFL may be viewed as if they’re celebrating a child molester. Knowing the ultra conservation nature of the National Football League that’s probably why they elected to go a different direction.
The Cast of Glee
A rousing performance by the cast of Glee seems like a slam dunk especially when you consider football is such a big part of FOX’s hit musical-dramedy.
Of course that sentence also contains the reason why CBS didn’t go in that direction. It’s a FOX show. But in 2011 FOX broadcasts the Super Bowl. Mathew Morrison and Lea Michele you better start warming up.
Yes, we know Madonna is the epitome of the exact thing the NFL is trying to avoid with its halftime show. In fact, she built her career on doing one outrageous thing after another.
But, the most outrageous thing Madge could do in appearing in the spectacularly uptight Super Bowl Halftime Show is not to be outrageous.
Furthermore, Madonna could whip out her hoo-ha and no one would be surprised (just disgusted). Even the FCC would have to shrug that one off.
Madonna will perform at the Super Bowl but not until she reforms her image. Nothing is more American than the NFL and the Super Bowl and right now nothing is more Un-American than Madonna.