G.I. Joe Won’t Be Shown To Critics

Paramount Pictures isn’t screening G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra to critics. This usually indicates the film is awful.

The movie studio showed the flick to “select” writers. This usually indicates they’ve shown the film to a group people they know will like it.

This is either the cast of G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra or the staff at our local credit union.

This is either the cast of G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra or the staff at our local credit union.

Instead the studio says they are “aiming the movie at the heartland.” This usually indicates they are targeting simple patriotic Americans living in fly over states and not the pseudo-intellectual, left-leaning, movie snobs who live in the large metropolitan cities on the East Coast.

“`G.I. Joe’ is a big, fun, summer event movie — one that we’ve seen audiences enjoy everywhere from Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland to Phoenix, Ariz.,” said Rob Moore, vice chairman of Paramount Pictures.

A special screening will be held Friday for 1,000 military service members at Andrews Air Force Base.

If this movie is patriotic it will be a refresher especially when compared to most of the “blame-America-first” pabulum Hollywood usually produces.

However, where the studio loses Land of Punt is their assertion that they don’t want what happened to Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen to happen to G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.

“After the chasm we experienced with `Transformers 2′ between the response of audiences and critics, we chose to forgo opening-day print and broadcast reviews as a strategy to promote `G.I. Joe.’ We want audiences to define this film,” said Moore.

This statement is insulting.

Transformers 2 has grossed more than $388 million in six weeks making it the ninth highest grossing film of all-time. The producers of G.I. Joe would take $388 faster than you could say “Channing Tatum.”

The Dreamy Channing Tatum plays Duke.

The dreamy Channing Tatum plays Duke in the upcoming G.I. Joe movie. Go Joe!

Of course Trans 2 got bad reviews but we doubt producers are losing sleep over it. And why such the concern over bad reviews it didn’t hurt the Shia LaBeouf vehicle one iota.

Hollywood has probably spent millions of dollars researching the correlation between critics’ reviews and box office receipts but regardless of their findings it appears the critics have little effect on what the public’s chooses to watch.

Critics may have “defined” a movie in the era of newspaper, but nowadays the movies are defined by the studio’s massive marketing machine. Yet no matter how many horsepower this machine uses, audiences know what they like and they know what they want to spend their hard earned cash on.

Trans 2 was as a loud, dumb action movie starring the loud, dumb Meagan Fox. It did gang busters at the box office because people thought to themselves “the economy sucks, there’s a war going on, my future looks bleak, I think I’ll see the dumb action movie that will allow me to turn my brain off for two hours, escape from my crappy life, and drool over Meagan Fox.”

Hopefully that’s not the same mindset you need for G.I. Joe.


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