Kylie Minogue Announces First North America Tour

Can you name more than two Kylie Minogue songs?

If you can’t you’re probably an American or you’re straight.

The world has bought millions of Kylie Minogue albums and millions of Kylie Minogue tickets but Americans have yet to buy into her act.

Kylie Minogue will try to sweep America off its feet during her upcoming fall tour.

Kylie Minogue will try to sweep America off its feet during her upcoming fall tour. Meanwhile, the Australian pop princess is in the studio working on her 11th album.

Minogue’s albums sell briskly in Britain, Europe, Australia and Asia but sputter in the United States. All over the world, fans flock to her concerts , but in the United States… well she’s never toured America.

“It doesn’t frustrate me (not cracking America). It’s frustrating being asked about it and the assumption that it’s something really missing in my career and in my life. It just so happens that I live in London and my time is spent more throughout Europe and then there’s the Asian connection through Australia but the U.S.A. has remained at arm’s length.”

To bring the U.S.A. within arm’s length, Minogue has announced her first ever North American tour. The For You, For Me Tour, the 11th of her career, kicks off September 30th, 2009 in of all places Oakland. It concludes in New York City on October 12th—that’s the last of two consecutive nights at the Hammerstein Ballroom.

Minogue will also perform in Chicago, Las Vegas, Los Angeles and Toronto. Those aren’t just the major cities she’ll be performing in, those are the only cities she’ll be performing in. Minogue’s first ever North American tour is a short one, just nine shows in two weeks.

Minogue announced her tour on the Today Show. That should help her career, no one buys more music and concert tickets than the “house fraus” and “cackling hens” that watch the Today Show.

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What exactly does it mean when one says Minogue is successful in the U.K. but not in the U.S.? After all, Minogue may not be as big as Madonna, but she’s far from obscure. In fact, LOP looks at her pictures all the time.

In the U.K., Minogue has eight number ones and 33 top ten hits. That’s quite impressive. Madonna has just five more number ones (13) in the U.K. but her career had a six year head start.

In the U.S., Minogue has placed just two singles in the top ten. That’s not impressive. It’s pretty easy to notch a number one hit in America, if Katy Perry can do it than anyone can.

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ABBA and Queen have also done better in the U.K. then in America. In the United Kingdom, ABBA had nine number one hits while Queen had six. In America, ABBA had one and Queen had two.

It’s no surprise that British and European artists would do better in the U.K. than in America. It’s interesting when there’s such a disparity. For ABBA and Queen the difference is trivial. For Minogue, the lack of success in America is quite mindboggling.

Number ones or no number ones, ABBA, Queen and Minogue are still well known in the United States. However, there are some British artists that have absolutely dominated the British charts (or at least done well) but are virtually unknown to American music fans.

Kylie Minogue is famous in America for not being famous in America.

Kylie Minogue is famous in America for not being famous in America.

Below are some musical artists that have been adored in the U.K. but ignored in the U.S.

The Jam

U.K. Number One Hits: 4
U.K. Top Ten Hits: 9
U.S. Top Ten: 0

The Jam’s principle figure is Paul Weller. He’s a national treasure in Britain, but in American he’s “that guy who played Robocop, right.” Even though they’re much older, the Jam is the British version of Green Day… but a 100 times better. Why they never hit it big in America is a mystery.

The Jam and Paul Weller are in the Land of Punt.

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Cliff Richard

U.K. Number One Hits: 14
U.K. Top Ten Hits: 70
U.S. Top Ten: 3

Cliff Richard’s success in the United Kingdom has no parallel in the U.S. The closest thing to an American equivalent of Richard would either be to combine the career of three or four singers or imagine the career of Elvis Presley had he lived to a ripe old age.

Richard has had a number one single in the U.K. in five consecutive decades and charted in six. He’s placed 130 singles, albums and EPs in the U.K.’s top 20.

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All Saints

U.K. Number One Hits: 6
U.K. Top Ten Hits: 9
U.S. Top Ten: 2

All Saints, which are comprised of all women, were one of the most successful musical acts in the 1990’s… in Britain. Why not in America? Well, the Spice Girls probably stole all of their American thunder. They had a minor hit in the U.S. with “Never Ever” in 1997.

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Mud

U.K. Number One Hits: 3
U.K. Top Ten Hits: 11
U.S. Top Ten: 0

Mud was an English rock band who had Britain’s best selling single of 1974, “Tiger Feet.” They were fun, energetic and sporadic—they released a lot of singles that failed to chart. Ask an American “what do you think of Mud” and they will probably tell you it’s dirty.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7tpz3NAr6k]

Slade

U.K. Number One Hits: 6
U.K. Top Ten Hits: 16
U.S. Top Ten: 0

Slade dominated the charts in the 1970’s. They completely outsold other glam acts of the era like David Bowie, T. Rex, Roxy Music, and the aforementioned Mud. Oddly, for being a hard-rock-heavy-metal-glam-band their most famous song (at least in Britain) is a holiday tune, “Merry Xmas Everybody.” Of course one of their other songs, “Cum on Feel the Noize,” the same one covered by Quite Riot, is fairly popular too.

Like the Jam, Slade has influenced countless other musicians including some Americans. Gene Simmons, Alice Cooper, Kurt Cobain and Joey Ramone have all publicly expressed their admiration for Slade. Unfortunately, that admiration didn’t lead to chart success.

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Sugababes

U.K. Number One Hits: 7
U.K. Top Ten Hits: 16
U.S. Top Ten: 0

The Sugababes are Keisha Buchanan, Heidi Range, and Amelle Berrabah. They are the U.K.’s most successful female act of the 21st century. And if you’re an American you think “Sugababes” is the name of a breakfast cereal.

These “sweet kiddies” are efficient, they put 16 of their 23 singles in the top ten… on the U.K. charts.

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S Club 7

U.K. Number One Hits: 4
U.K. Top Ten Hits: 11
U.S. Top Ten: 0

This is a contrived band, a product from the warp mind of Simon Fuller (creator of American Idol). After the Spice Girls fired him, Fuller went onto to hold auditions for S Club 7. Once the band was formed they starred in their own television series, Miami 7.

Basically, the band was an updated, co-ed version of The Monkees. Their show aired in America on Fox Family and ABC Family—just about any network with the word “family” in it.

Sure S Club 7 may have attracted American viewers (for obvious reasons), but their music never attracted American listeners (again for obvious reasons).

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Westlife

U.K. Number One Hits: 14
U.K. Top Ten Hits: 23
U.S. Top Ten: 0

Westlife’s 14 U.K. number ones is the tied for third most (with Cliff Richard) in U.K. chart history. The only acts to have more number ones in the United Kingdom are Elvis and The Beatles. This Irish boy band’s first seven singles all went to number one… in England.

In America, they had a minor hit in 2000 and made an appearance on MTV. However, they could never breakthrough in the States, perhaps because the Backstreet Boys and N’ Sync were monopolizing all the teenage girls.

Their utter failure in the States is even more perplexing if you consider that Americans are familiar with several of their number one singles: “Uptown Girl,” “Mandy,” “Seasons in the Sun,” “Against All Odds,” and “The Rose.”

Another Westlife number one is a song American music and television fans should be familiar with, “Flying Without Wings. That song did manage to chart as high as number two in the U.S. but not when the boys sang it.

In 2003, American Idol Season 2 winner, Ruben Studdard, released it as his debut single. Westlife was hoping to bring the song to America but once they learned of Studdard’s single they knew their plans for invading America were over.

By the way, Westlife was signed by American Idol judge Simon Cowell.

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