NBC’s New Fall Lineup, Thank God For Cable

NBC recently announced its 2009-2010 lineup and in the process set television back 30 years.

Of their ten new shows three are nonscripted and a fourth is the new Jay Leno program that will air weeknights at 10 p.m. NBC will also bring a 20-year old movie to the small screen, give us two hospital shows, and tap on their 1990’s sitcom stars for reality television.

For the week of April 20-29, NBC's highest rated show was 	Biggest Loser.

For the week of April 20-29, NBC's highest rated show was the Biggest Loser.

All this from the same network that a couple of years ago, when it fell to fourth place (remember when there wasn’t even a fourth place for there were just three networks), announced that in order to turn things around they were going to do more reality programming and less scripted shows—those pesky writers.

That’s like a doctor saying she’s going to improve her clinic’s patient care by only serving healthy people.

They are still in fourth place and now NBC stands for “No Body Cares” as in “nobody cares about your awful programming.” Will their ten new shows turn things around? Probably not.

The Peacock’s new dramas:

Trauma (medical drama)
Mercy (another medical drama)
Day One (NBC calls this an “event” which is code for complicated and tedious)
Parenthood (small screen adaptation of the 1989 film by the same name. Apparently they couldn’t get the rights to Ordinary People. While it seems like an old movie to bring to television, there are several big names associated with the project including Ron Howard, Brain Glazer, Peter Krause, Maura Tierney, and Craig T. Nelson)

NBC’s new comedies:

100 Questions (English actress with American accent however James Burrows directs pilot)
Community (Land of Punt’s inside sources say Community is going to be a big hit. Show is set at a community college and losers abound including Chevy Chase)

NBC’s nonscripted shows are:

The Marriage Ref (executive producer Jerry Seinfeld)
Breakthrough With Tony Robbins (TR helps people with issues, Kleenix show)
Who Do You Think You Are?(executive producer Lisa Kudrow)

Shows returning:

Heroes (why?)
Southland (of course)
Parks and Recreation (eh)
The Office (that’s what she said)
30 Rock (twist!)
The Biggest Loser (LOP despises this show. It stereotypes all fat people as criers).
The Celebrity Apprentice (it’s not Celebrity Apprentice it’s Barely Famous Apprentice)
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (television’s feel good show)
Friday Night Lights (it’s a show called Friday Night Lights and it’s on Friday)

Shows on the bubble (which means they’re going to be canceled):

My Name is Chuck
Kath & Kim News Hour
Life (the only television show based on a board game)

Right now, with the exception of Thursday night, Land of Punt would rather watch their subsidiary USA Network. It’s a better network.

To prove it, here is a week of NBC programming, from May 2nd to May 9th. This is right in the middle of sweeps meaning NBC is broadcasting the best lineup it can (i.e. six hours of Law and Order franchise). So the question must be ask: this is the best they can do?

Sunday, May 03
7:00pm Dateline
9:00pm Celebrity Apprentice

Monday, May 04
8:00pm Deal Or No Deal
9:00pm Medium
10:00pm Medium

Tuesday, May 05
8:00pm The Biggest Loser 7
9:00pm The Biggest Loser 7
10:00pm Law & Order: SVU

Wednesday, May 06
8:00pm Law & Order: Criminal Intent
9:00pm Law & Order: SVU
10:00pm Law & Order

Thursday, May 07
8:00pm My Name Is Earl
8:30pm Parks And Recreation
9:00pm The Office
9:30pm 30 Rock
10:00pm Southland

Friday, May 08
8:00pm Howie Do It
8:30pm Howie Do It
9:00pm Dateline NBC – Friday

Saturday, May 09
8:00pm Law & Order: SVU
9:00pm Southland
10:00pm Law & Order

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