Fast and Furious Movie Review

Fast and Furious was so bad the projector broke.

Literally.

The projector’s power supply suddenly stopped working and forced the Land of Punt to a cancel its scheduled viewing. The mishap was quite unfortunate. No one was to blame. It was just one of those “regal” mistakes.

The plot was straight out of a video game.  The acting was abysmal.  The script was clichéd.  The direction was lacking.  But who cares about all that stuff because the cars were awesome.

The plot was straight out of a video game. The acting was abysmal. The script was clichéd. The direction was lacking. But who cares about all that stuff because the cars were awesome.

Land of Punt returned to a later showing and was quite glad they did. Fast and Furious was good old fashioned cheese. It was a delectably awful flick, a deliciously bad movie and L.O.P. loved every minute of it.

Now, will you like the Fast and Furious? If you’ve liked the other three movies in the series you’ll probably like this one. If you haven’t seen any of the films in the franchise there’s a easy way to tell if you’ll like Fast and Furious and the best part about is you don’t need a syringe.

If you want to live in a world where the best way to hijack a speeding semi-truck hauling five tankers of gas is by using dangerous stunt driving, life-defying stunts and liquid nitrogen then this movie is for you.

If you’d rather live in a world where the best way to hijack a speeding semi-truck hauling five tankers of gas is to get the vehicle’s driver to safely pull over to the side of the road, you’ll probably want to pass.

Maybe you’re still undecided about whether or not you’ll like Fast and Furious. Well, do you like to learn? Fast and the Furious is a very educational film.

The movie teaches that the United States is the only country in the world that scans fingerprints into computers. It tells us that Dominic Toretto is a forensic science savant. And it revealed that billion dollar drug cartels are completely dependent on street racers. These highly organized and powerful crime syndicates often hold complicated contests on public streets to recruit the drivers. Apparently they’ve never heard of craigslist.

The very end of the movie was quite cute and received cheers from the audience.

The very end of the movie was quite cute and received cheers from the audience.

There was also a mistake in this movie (besides the blatant disregard for the laws of physics). Vin Diesel had one of those cool, tough guy lines you always hear in movies like Fast and Furious. However, the camera was on a wide shot when he delivered it. That tells L.O.P. the director erred and failed to get a usable close up of Mr. Diesel.

Speaking of Vin Diesel, he almost showed another emotion besides smarmy—his range is breathtaking. Meanwhile, Paul Walker is proof that former employees of Game Crazy can act in films. Jordana Brewster was stunningly pretty and by the end of the movie she was almost acting. And there were a bunch of other people in the film as well.

The way the movie ended, L.O.P. left the theater saying, "sequel" and "what's sticking to the bottom of my shoe?"

The way the movie ended, L.O.P. left the theater saying sequel and what's sticking to the bottom of my shoe?

For non-F&F fans (like there are any), don’t get disgusted and walk out of the theater early. You really should stay until the end. It’s the best part of the movie.

Also see if you had the same idea L.O.P. had when Vin Diesel and Paul Walker confronted the villain near the movie’s finale. Land of Punt was certain the bad guy was going to challenge Vin to a race. How awesome would that have been?

Judged as a movie it was deplorable. But it’s Fast and Furious what did you expect? It’s not Shakespeare. It’s not even Shakespeare with a clutch. It’s more like a clutch with a clutch. It’s just a stupid movie with ultra cool cars that’s a whole lot of fun to watch.

The cast of Fast and Furious with director Justin Lin.

The cast of Fast and Furious with director Justin Lin.

Update

Fast and Furious grossed an estimated $72.5 million giving it the biggest April debut of all time. The previous record holder, Anger Management, debuted with only $42.2 million.

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