With proliferation of digital video recorders and the ability to fast-forward, watching commercials has diminished for most television viewers. With the exception of sports and news, a viewer may good several weeks without out viewing even one advert.
In the Land of Punt commercials are viewed all the time. For as a wise person once said, “Television commercials are the peepholes to a society’s soul.”
We’re not sure what that means but the word “peephole” makes us giggle.
Below are four spots that we hope we’ll never have to hear again. Land of Punt has deemed their music some of the most obnoxious in the world of advertising.
Not that these are necessarily bad commercials with bad songs, but more that these commercials contain music which makes many residents in the Land of Punt quite violent.
In fact, during the annual Land of Pun festival known as “the Craving,” these commercials are banned from airing on television altogether (but not satellite or cable).
If you don’t believe L.O.P., then have a listen and hear for yourself.
Land of Punt doesn’t know the name or artist of the song in this commercial, but if L.O.P. ever meets the artist they will lose an appendage.
This song, especially the voice, makes us want to shove hot pokers in our ears and hit the inside of our kneecaps with a ball peen hammer. The ditty is beyond obnoxious, it mega-noxious.
Every time this advert airs and that whistling echoes through out the Land of Punt, we all start jamming knitting needles into our brains while simultaneously lighting our hair on fire with a blow torch. Then we really do something painful.
The song is called “Ginger Snap” (Scat Trap Doo Dap Whistle Tap Caper). The title has one word for each degree of irritation the song imbues onto your soul.
Worst of all, you hear one nanosecond of the tune and its in your head for a week.
The song is by Amos Lee and it’s called “Sweet Pea.” Amos Lee is fine and of fours songs included in this entry, this song, in its entirety, is the best. The problem is this commercial airs ALL THE TIME. All we ever hear is the same disgustingly saccharine :30 seconds repeated over and over again.
Then when the murder-inducing, mind numbing, death-affirming little girl does her precious little stunts, it’s all you can do to keep from sucking on the business end of a tranquilizer gun.
The songs in these commercials are the absolute worst. They make you want to stick your hands in a toaster oven while sucking on a rod of weapons grade uranium as buzzards peck at your crotch and all after you’ve stapled your feet to a pair of slightly perturbed hyenas.
This type of music wasn’t a good idea when it was used in “Juno” and it’s not a good idea for these Comcast adverts.
In fact, these songs aren’t even songs, they are noise. They are the songwriting equivalent of college students forming a beat box posse because they’re too lazy to learn an instrument. Get yourself a melody and sing a proper song.