Fall Out Boy’s Best Song Titles

As man in his thirties, Fall Out Boy is the last band I want to see perform live. However, the planets have aligned and the fates are smiling on me because I won the family sweepstakes to accompany my teenage niece and her friend to Fall Out Boy’s April 9th concert in Portland, Oregon.

An artist's representation of what the Fall Out Boys look like.

An artist's representation of what the Fall Out Boys look like.

There’s even discussion that I’ll have to take my niece and her hoard to the WaMu Theatre in Seattle, Washington the next night to see FOB perform again.

I’m warming up my ear plugs as I write.

The only Fall Out Boy song I’m remotely familiar with is “Dance, Dance.” My niece tells me they’ve covered Michael Jackson’s “Beat It.”


I’m sure fans waiting to see them perform at the Bojangles Coliseum in Charlotte, North Carolina or Mohegan Sun in Uncasville, Connecticut can’t wait, but I’m not excited to hear their rendition of the pop classic.

After all, the bands I like don’t perform at the Mizner Park Amphitheater in Boca Raton, Florida or the Fillmore Auditorium in Denver, Colorado. Not because Mizner Park or the Fillmore Auditorium are bad places to play, but all my favorite bands are defunct.

Not only that but I’m old and standing up for rock concerts reeks havoc on my sciatica.

My sciatica starts to ache if I stand for long periods of time or when I'm wearing thick socks.

My sciatica starts to ache if I stand for long periods of time and when I wear knee-high socks.

Even so, I marginally like my niece and I don’t want the evening to be a total waste, so I did some research on F.O.B.

There are a few fascinating things I learned about the band: (1) they’re from Wilmette, Illinois; (2) their name is taken from a Simpson’s character; and (3) they have great song titles.

For example, this title from their 2003 debut album, “The World’s Not Waiting (For Five Tired Boys in a Broken Down Van).”

Fallout Boy, the Simpson's character.

Fallout Boy, the Simpson's character.

Other songs titles range from clever puns like, “The (After) Life of the Party” and “Bang the Doldrums,” to titles taken from lines out of famous movies like “Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner” and “Of All the Gin Joints in All the World.”

I would be very interested in hearing FOB perform “Sending Postcards from a Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here)” in Ypsilanti, Michigan or “I’ve Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth,” in Orlando, Florida. I bet both are real crowd pleasers.

What’s impressive is these songs aren’t fillers or short sound experiments but actual full length tracks.

While I have no idea what they sound like (nor do I care to learn) I have listed my favorite 16 Fall Out Boy song titles.

    “Grand Theft Autumn”

    “Chicago Is So Two Years Ago”

    “Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet”

    “Parker Lewis Can’t Lose (But I’m Gonna Give It My Best Shot)”

    “Snitches and Talkers Get Stitches and Walkers”

    “Don’t You Know Who I Think I Am?”

    “Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over”

    “Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes”

    “Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of This Song So We Wouldn’t Get Sued”

    “A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More “Touch Me””

    “Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part to Save the Scene and Stop Going to Shows)”

    “Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends”

    “The Carpal Tunnel of Love”

    “I’m Like a Lawyer with the Way I’m Always Trying to Get You Off”

    “I’ve Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None on My Fingers”

    “I Slept with Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me”

There are country music artists who can’t produce a set list that colorful.

I’m still not looking forward to seeing them perform live, but I have earned a bit more respect for the boys. They have a sense of humor and they obviously don’t take themselves too serious.

So I hope they find it humorous when I request “Freebird.” My niece will be so embarrassed.

What the Fall Out Boys actually look like in person.

What the Fall Out Boys actually look like in person.

Fall Out Boy’s North American tour starts April 3rd at the Mesa Amphitheatre in Mesa, Arizona.

From there the boys of Fall Out Boy will travel to Las Vegas, Nevada, San Jose, California and Sacramento, California. Eventually their tour will end May 17th in St. Paul, Minnesota at the Roy Wilkins Auditorium.

In between, Fall Out Boy will perform at the Sam Houston Race Park in Houston, Texas; the RPI Fieldhouse in Troy, New York; and the LC Pavilion in Columbus, Ohio.


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